Okay…well…I really didn’t want to get into this, but I’ve been encouraged on by my faithful reader, Queenie, and, by my son, Julian. Yes, he feels it is very important for me to share the privileged information he received from his ballet teacher, and which, I must add, he was very pleased to receive, so that other boys might not suffer the embarrassment – and pain – of misplaced “stuff” in their dance belts.
First, what is a dance belt? If you haven’t ever seen or heard of this item of dance clothing, its basically a thong for guys who dance. It’s worn under their dance tights, usually in ballet and jazz (or any time a boy or man wears tight-fitting and bun-featuring attire). However, it is not a jock strap. It offers no protection from a girls misplaced foot or partnering turn gone wrong. (In fact, Julian says it makes boys more likely to get hit where it hurts most.) It simply positions the male genitalia in such a way that it is featured in, well, how should I say it?…a neat package. And it shows off the boy’s rear end, which hopefully is nice and muscled, without any “panty lines,” as Queenie says. (If you want to see a picture of a dance belt and hear about another kid’s experience with one, go to her blog, http://theshoestringprince.blogspot.com/2008/10/good-bad-dance-belt.html.)
My son at first hated his dance belt and found it terribly uncomfortable. I wasn’t surprised, being a mom who has shunned the female thong and never understood how women could find that strap up their butt crack comfortable. (Okay, now you probably know more about me than you needed to know.) However, he wore it to ballet class on a daily basis, as well as in performances, and even in many of his jazz classes.
He did complain that sometimes it chaffed…and he didn’t like being in it for many hours at a time. These days, however, he says he’s used to it and can be in it all day. (I guess that’s what happens to women eventually, too.) But, he has since had some lessons in how to actually position his “stuff,” as he calls it, in the dance belt. (See the comments from yesterday’s blog post. You’ll get a good laugh, I promise.)
Julian was lucky enough to have a male ballet teacher who took pity on him and the one other boy in ballet class and one day took them aside and taught them how to actually position their genitalia in their dance belts. (I cannot imagine a female ballet teacher doing this…) Now, some of you might say, “Oh, no! That’s a really weird thing for a teacher to do!” But, someone had to teach these poor boys how to use those thongs, and I surely didn’t know what to tell Julian and neither did his dad (who wears cotton, baggy boxers – now you know too much about him, too). And we assumed he was wearing them “correctly.” Little did any of us know that he had his “stuff” hanging too low. In fact, the boys had the dance belts on but all their “stuff” just landed in that little sack at the front however it landed. There was no conscious effort made to position it.
Now think about the male ballet dancers you’ve seen. See them up there on stage, and let your eye travel to the place you are supposed to be avoiding looking at…their crotch. (Oh, you know you’ve looked there before…) Notice that everything is neatly packaged in that dance belt and upfront. Nothing is hanging low or looking messy.
This was not the case for Julian and his ballet buddy. They were packaged up but hanging low and messy to boot. So, their kind and conscientious teacher (and I meant that), who I will not name here (although I’d love to give him credit), took them aside and taught them the fine art of “scoop and swoop.” Yes…dare I say it…once the boy has the dance belt on, he reaches in and scoops up his “stuff” and swoops it upward and positions it front and center. And there it stays.
The boys, of course, had to ask if this was supposed to “make it look bigger.” The answer came back: “No, just neater.”
But we aren’t done with the lesson. I wish we were. Julian informed me that I had to include this last part, but I’m not including the terminology. I refuse. The boys found that once they had their ballet tights over the dance belt, during class the seam on the tights, which are very tight, that ran down the front of the tights would create an indent and find a way to nestle into the crevices of the dance belt. You know, the nooks and crannies that weren’t “filled” with “stuff.” They didn’t like the effect, so they went to their devoted teacher and began to explain what was happening.
He knew immediately what they were talking about and called it by a name I’d rather not mention here, although Julian really wanted me to (Sorry Julian…), and offered them an easy solution. He told them to inconspicuously pinch their tights at that location and pull them out and up, dislodging the seam from the indents in the dance belt. This is called “pluck and pull.” And then, I suppose (Julian didn’t mention this), pull the tights up some more at the waist.
So, that’s the lesson for today: How to wear a dance belt. I suppose you could try it yourself first…or go buy a thong. Hopefully your son will find a thoughtful and conscientious male teacher who will teach him in an appropriate fashion saving you the trouble. If not, you might have to take on the job yourself. Now at least you’ll know how to instruct him.
If your son has other boys in class wearing dance belts, don’t expect them to teach each other. Julian says its “way too awkward” to offer another guy the instruction he received. I’m sure it was awkward for Julian’s teacher, which is why I really do give him so much credit for having done it. I’m not sure what would happen if a boy asked another boy for instruction…maybe, depending on the boy, he’d get help. It would be worth a try.
(After I wrote this post I did a google search on dance belts and found this, which will surely help some boys in need of manly advice: http://www.dance.net/topic/3887430/1/Guys-Only-PG-13/Everything-you-need-to-know-about-Dance-Belts.html. )
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Brilliant post! How wonderful that you found that description of how to wear a dance belt on the Dance.net forum. I searched and searched (admittedly I didn’t use Google) and could find nothing.
After the unfortunate mishap—I was desperate to find somthing.
Being from the midwest I figure Pete’s teacher was a bit leary of going into the down and dirty with him.
Well, considering that dance belts really aren’t self explanitory, there are precious few men who even have experience of wearing the things much less who find themselves in the position of talking about them to other men, or boys…
Oh lordy, and what with the stigma and assumptions of what my son calls “twinkly-ness” that male ballet dancers deal with simply for pursuing their interest I imagine they would be doubly leary of sidling up to another male and telling him, in effect,
“Um dude, I was checking out your package, and I couldn’t help but noticing that you’re wearing your dance belt wrong…here, let me help you.”
Whoooa Nelly! That’s a risk to great to take.
So, for the many young men who just don’t know where to turn, and to the many “too skeeved to be much help” parents I’m grateful that there are now TWO places on the web where one might find out about the dance world’s darkest secret.
Hi! Thanks for this info! My son is a dancer and I’ve been dreading the day when this topic had to be covered! He has several parts in our production of the Nutcracker and will need his first dance belt. This should help!
My pleasure! Expect a bit of discomfort at first and a possibly some chaffing. Before you know it, he’ll be wearing a dance belt like a second skin. My son doesn’t even notice them any more, although he does still like to get them off as soon as possible.
[...] ballet tights and other dance clothing. It serves the same purpose as a dance belt if you will. Again, see this post for all the info you will ever need on “scoop and swoop”; the same …However, the dance brief does leave a panty line–kind of a no no in the ballet world. They [...]
Good lord, you don’t mean to tell me that the male teacher adjusted it for them do you? I would NEVER even think of doing that to my students and risk being sued and/or put in jail. The easiest way is to demonstrate it on yourself wearing the belt the wrong way and the right way and all without showing any skin. The boys should be able to figure it out once they see this.
Of course not! He just showed told them how! The words used, “scoop and swoop,” and the general motion showed was enough, if I recall. I’m not sure that he even demonstrated. Most people who have read the post have understood. The mom’s have been very grateful! :~)
My just-pubescent son rides horses, English jumping – another female dominated activity – your blog was helpful for us as well!
I rode as a child and through much of my adult life. It’s amazing to think this blog is helping parents of young male equestrian’s as well. Wow…thanks so much for writing in.
(This comment was left on the old site by j_Bureller@live.com) Thanks this was really helpful. I started taking ballet in high school and found it hard to adjust and was too afraid and embarrassed to ask. I’m an African-American male who grew up in a family of strong independent woman who assured me that boys don’t dance and that male ballet dancers were “fags”(God I hate that word!). I knew for sure I couldn’t ask them for any kind of advice that had to do with my “junk” being supported unless it had to do with me catching, throwing, hitting, kicking, or bouncing a ball up and down some kind of court. You are definately brave and a hero to many moms, dads, and boys(seriously!)
(submitted on the old blog by– Rowe) I read many articles on belts before our son had to wear one.To our supprise he picked a thong belt. Seeing many photos of ballet he wanted to look like them[men]without the full belts.Being in a family of ballet lovers showing the human form was never a big thing,even nudity was nothing between us.This made everything much easier when he asked how to put on his belt and tights. With the help of his older sister and me,reading one column while putting them on.My daughter pulled up the back tight and I pulled up his lovely testicles.I told him to hold on to his penis and pull it up as what the advice in the column was saying.We were all new to this.He wanted to look at himself before he put on the tight.He laughed while looking at his naked butt.His sister showed him how to put the tights on.I almost teared looking at my little man all dressed like the adult male dancers.He looked so beautiful.This is part of a mom’s and family’s duty.There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of…..Also having read many things about boys/men in ballet,some about being a sissy this is very untrue.Our son loves playing ball and many sports and is very masculine for his age.He just loves dancing and also loves seeing the girls in ballet.I think that’s why he wanted to start ballet.My husband also loves ballet.Next year he will need his first cup to play ball.I don’t think I’ll need to instruct him.We’ll do what ever it takes to protect his precious jewels from harm.MORE MEN IN BALLET!!I read many articles on belts before our son had to wear one.To our supprise he picked a thong belt. Seeing many photos of ballet he wanted to look like them[men]without the full belts.Being in a family of ballet lovers showing the human form was never a big thing,even nudity was nothing between us.This made everything much easier when he asked how to put on his belt and tights. With the help of his older sister and me,reading one column while putting them on.My daughter pulled up the back tight and I pulled up his lovely testicles.I told him to hold on to his penis and pull it up as what the advice in the column was saying.We were all new to this.He wanted to look at himself before he put on the tight.He laughed while looking at his naked butt.His sister showed him how to put the tights on.I almost teared looking at my little man all dressed like the adult male dancers.He looked so beautiful.This is part of a mom’s and family’s duty.There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of…..Also having read many things about boys/men in ballet,some about being a sissy this is very untrue.Our son loves playing ball and many sports and is very masculine for his age.He just loves dancing and also loves seeing the girls in ballet.I think that’s why he wanted to start ballet.My husband also loves ballet.Next year he will need his first cup to play ball.I don’t think I’ll need to instruct him.We’ll do what ever it takes to protect his precious jewels from harm.MORE MEN IN BALLET!!
Thanks. I myself was a dancer and my son is dancing too. Recently need to buy a dance belt for him, of course I won’t be able to help him as I had never talked to fellow male dancers about dance belt! My son is very small, not sure a man’s dance belt would fit him. Your blog definitely helped me to decide what I should be aware of when getting one and will also help him to adjust the belt to perfect position. Will let you know the result once I have bought one!
I’ll be waiting to hear!!
Let me know how it works out!
I would just like to comment to Nina the mother that makes such positive expression of her son’s male parts. I think every man subconsciously desires that kind of respect of his male parts, but seldom receives, or gives it to himself, for that matter. I think if we give proper respect to things we would not miss use it as often.Remember life is sexually transmitted. I feel if we gave respect in those areas. There would be much less abuse of sexual matters. Keep up the good work Moms.
Great article very informative. I just read Doc Dance Belts web site information. FYI when I first started ballet lessons on the first day the nice lady asked if I had a Dance Belt I said a what? She said to support your privates I said Oh! I have a jock. She informed me that will not work. Its OK for today but get a DB. As required I got one. It was confining, uncomfortable and aweful. But no one took the time or interest to show me how to wear this thing. I get it now. Also the issue about tights. No Big Deal in class we wore DB, tights and gym shorts and T-shirt tights were a non issue. If i had a son who was going to learn ballet I would for sure instruct him on how to wear the “required” item.
Marc,
I’ll have to check out Doc Dance Belts site! Glad you figured it out! And thanks for your comment.
Nina
Very good, useful. Good to see that someone posts information about this. I’m a male dancer, and I was having a problem with the “indent” and this definitely helped. It’s hard to find help from others when there aren’t many male dancers to begin with, and I would never expect female teachers (like mine) to say anything about it cause that’d be a little too awkward for everyone.
Thank you for this post! We live in a medium-sized town and no male teachers to speak of. We haven’t gotten to the age of requirement, but as all three have such a love for dance, this may be soon approaching. I know our local teachers would not feel comfortable discussing this as they took embarrassment when one son bruised his groin on the playground and told her that due to that injury, his doctor wanted him not to plie that week.
Now, when the time comes, I can return to this article. I will probably still ask my husband to have “the talk” but at least now we know what it should be.
You are welcome. It’s my most read post.