I can’t recall how often I’ve been asked by a young male dancer how he could overcome the fear and awkwardness of showing up in class or on stage in tights and a dance belt, but it’s been more than just a few times. My response is pretty much always the same. So, I thought I would publish my last emailed answer to a dancin’ boy who said he didn’t mind wearing this apparel to private dance lessons but would not dare do so in group classes.
I know there are other dancin’ boys out there who feel exactly the same way…or who refuse to even put on tights or a dance belt. I hope they might benefit from this advice as well (and I hope the other young dancer won’t mind that I shared this response here).
If you come to dance when you are older, it’s a bit more difficult, I suppose, to get comfortable with tights and dance belts. But here’s what I’d tell you:
You have to realize that this is the dress code, the uniform, for ballet. For this reason, no one will judge you in class. They expect you to wear these things.
Sure, the girls will check you out initially. After that, they will not pay any attention.
If you can get away with wearing your white shirt (if that is required) out of your tights initially, do that to cover up a bit. Gradually ease into tucking your shirt in.
Also, try going to a class with other boys so you aren’t the only one. This will give you some confidence. There’ security in numbers.
Remember this: Your body is not only your tool, it’s also a work of art. A male dancer should consider his body in the same way that a weight lifter does–something to show off! People love looking at a male dancer…every muscle rippling. And your lower body is part of that artistic creation.
Also, keep in mind that you are not the only one in the room revealing your body via your clothing. All the female dancers in the room are showing just about everything in their thin, skimpy little leotards, too. You can’t tell me that you can’t see everything they have going on under there… So, what’s the difference?
Dear Ms. Amir,
I am writing to introduce you our school, and to bring to your attention our fantastic Boys’ Scholarship Dance Program, now in its 16th year. More information may be found on our website link above, or I would welcome the chance to share more with you via email or telephone. With all best wishes, Lisa Collins Vidnovic
Lisa Collins Vidnovic, artistic director and founder of the Metropolitan Ballet Academy (MBA) and nonprofit Metropolitan Ballet Company (MBC), launched the acclaimed, tuition-free Boys’ Scholarship Dance Program in 1999 as a way to make ballet accessible to boys in the greater Philadelphia region. Over 235 boys ages 7-18 have participated in the program to date and several dedicated and talented young men have pursued professional careers in dance.
Now beginning our 16th year (2014-2015), we are proud that our program has grown, with over 50 boys enrolled annually. The program draws students from Philadelphia and its five-county region, and from all areas of interest. Whether the boys are bound for a career in dance, musical theater, figure skating, gymnastics or team athletics, all enjoy the opportunity to study dance in an all-male atmosphere from truly great teachers.
Your perspective, while well meaning I suppose, is utterly simplistic and superficial I’m afraid. Take it from a male dancer who did not start ballet at an age ‘too young to be embarassed’ like your son did.
What makes you think you really, truly understand the issues faced by late starting youth having to adjust to wardrobe and uniform reality in the ballerino world? It is frought with under developed understandings of concepts like emerging teen/adult male gender identity norms, gender presentation and expression, homophobia, developing self image and self confidence, role stereotypes, to suggest a few. Simplistic platitudes amounting to ‘get over it’ are simply inadequate.
If you don’t think I’ve dealt with many of those issues here, Justin, you haven’t read the blog. I’m sorry if you are struggling or have. If I can help in any way, I’m happy to do so.
I’d love for you to write a guest post about the program, Lisa. Why don’t you email me.
Hi Nina and others involved with the dancing world. I live in the UK but always look at the helpful insights and guidance on this site. After all, boys in the UK and the US face similar issues. I wonder if I can ask for your views on boys wearing unitards ? My own 13 year old, like some of his dance class friends prefers wearing one rather than a t-shirt or vest. He has told me that his tights stay up better when he is wearing something over them. This seems perfectly practical and I’m sure that girls notice this benefit from wearing a leotard in the same way. However, my son’s new school wants to outlaw unitards as they are “inappropriate”, “rebellious” and have a “negative effect on a boy’s behaviour.” My son is not a rebel and always works hard in class. And I don’t see how they can be inappropriate when I buy them at considerable expense in a dancewear shop. Am I missing something ? Would love to hear your thoughts.
I don’t know why a unitard would not be okay…especially if purchased at a dance store. But many schools have a dress code. As to whether a boy who wears on is rebellious…that’s silly and stereotyping.
I started ballet when I was almost 21 and I never had a problem with tights. It’s not like people made fun of you in class for tights since we’re all wearing tights. The issue for ballet boys is bullying outside of the ballet. My son started dancing last year but he has been training Brazilian Jujitsu for 2 years and I teach him boxing so that isn’t a problem, but all too many boys are afraid to start or continue ballet because of the teasing and bullying.
I know what it’s like to be bullied so I have trained other boys to fight along with my son so that they don’t need to fight and don’t get bullied. You read news stories about boys who do cheer-leading getting bullied and committing suicide and almost every male dancer can tell you their own stories. That’s the real challenge boys who dance face.
For performances I have to do dance belts but I use them on/off for class and I’ll use supportive briefs at times just to avoid the thong everyday which burns if worn too long. The bigger problem I have is men who double-up with padded dance belts to exaggerate their body parts. It’s embarrassing for the art and it creates an “arms race”. Sergei Polunin as great as he looks in Take Me to Church unfortunately took that arms race to new levels.
Sorry but I took ballet and hated tights and the belt , which is NOT a belt , I still a support thing. For one of my recitals I had to wear a most embarrassing costume. No matter what my teacher said about it s just a look for stage and the art, I hated it. The truth is , it’s imasculating to wear tights and a silk buttoned blouse and then makeup!!! Oh but that’s for the lighting, so you don’t look washed out. Even though that may be true , it is a very feminine look. Some boys in my class didn’t mind but in the 4 years of ballet I took I was always extremely embarrassed when I was forced to wear my blouse and tights. If they want more guys to take ballet make the male look more masculine. Especially at a young age. I was 13 and was forced to take dance but I wanted to feel masculine. Tights are in no way shape or form a masculine look. And teachers should feel a feeling and not be so strict. I was so embarrassed one time because my teacher noticed I had “run “ in my tights. She yelled at me while we were iwarming up at the barre and said it’s unacce to show up for class with a run in your tights. I actually cried and that made her more mad. Needless to say I had to endure until I was 17 when I was allowed to quit. Tights will never be considered masculine. It is a very feminine article of clothing even for ballet
I took private classes for three years here in the UK between 12-15 and it was standard white T-shirt, black tights with either white or black slippers along with a belt there was another boy with me at the time and around eight girls tights were never an issue for me to busy working on the footwork. However when i turned forty i decided to return to class,i found a fantastic shop with a lady owner whose two children a boy and girl who took ballet she even had a small studio upstairs her shop was an Aladdin’s cave of ballet/dance wear, With her help i bought plenty of fresh ballet wear using Wearmoi clothing not the cheapest option but certainly excellent quality. For myself i liked catsuits/full United and because i was taking provide lessons i could be more relaxed about colour. I had no problems with dress code or colours as for the bulge well there’s not a lot you can do about it just point North if you think that is bad (and it’s not) what about when you stretch out on the barre your backside doesn’t leave much to the imagination,but everybody is really in the same boat. Maybe i am wrong (?) but after time as your confidence grows you find that rather than the standard dress code you find yourself looking at different styles, colours and combinations of dancewear.
Im a male ballet dancer i was absolutely petrafied when I first started ballet i didn’t know what I had to wear untill ibwas told by another male ballet dancer so i finally plucked up the courage to get the male ballet attire i knew that i had to overcome the fear and awkwardness of showing up in class wearing a thong dancebelt with a support cup inside a leotard Black footed tights ballet socks and black ballet shoes all I wanted to do was to stay in the changing room and not come out but one of the other male dancers eased me into walking into the class yes I was shy scared nervous but I was about to overcome my fear i knew exactly it was now or never as soon as I walked into the ballet class all the women came up to me and said welcome its nice to see you i didn’t even want to even put on the tights or dance belt. Bit once I was told why I needed to wear the dancebelt and tights it made sence ever since i have got comfortable with wearing tights and dance belts. I had to realize that this is the dress code, the uniform, for ballet. For this reason, no one will judge you in class. They expect you to wear these things. Sure, when I first walked into the ballet class wearing the ballet attire the women checked me out initially. After that, they didn’t pay any attention.Now,I go to ballet class wearing a dancebelt with a support cup inside a leotard Black footed tights ballet socks and ballet shoes and I walk into class and dance with confidence and I don’t worry about wearing tights, leotard dance belt, no more