Does your son have flexiblity issues?
Does he dislike being the only guy in an all girls ballet class?
Is he embarrassed to wear ballet tights?
Does he get teased inside or outside the dance studio?
Does he only want to take hip hop and tap classes?
Will he take dance class but not get up on stage to perform?
Do auditions give him the jitters?
Would he like to learn how to be a choreographer?
In an effort to address the issues of ALL dancin’ boys, not just the issues of my dancin’ boy, I’d love to hear what issues your boys struggle with. Please leave me some comments and over the course of the year, I’ll try to address them both through my own experience and via interviews with experts.
I look forward to your comments!
I just found your website today when I was looking for a dance costume for my son. No easy task–let me tell you. So, issue number one is “What do other boys do about costumes?”
My son is ten and has been dancing since he was five. Our biggest struggle is getting direction on what to do with his dancing education. He went to an audition a month ago and the casting director told me to get him into a good ballet school right away. His current studio hasn’t said a word to me about what to do next and how to get better instruction. He loves to dance and wants to do more but it is hard to find information out there on good programs for young boys. Issue number two would be, “Where do you find information on dance education for boys?”
Thanks for putting your blog out there. It is very helpful. I can’t wait to show him the dance belt post.
Ah, yes…costumes and dance clothes for boys in general are, indeed, problematic! No easy solution there, but I’ll see what I can drum up.
The other questions are great ones. I’ll get to work on it.
In the meantime, find a good ballet school in your area. Most typical dance studios are not very strong in the area of ballet. You probably need to find a school that specializes in ballet, like Ballet San Jose School or San Francisco Ballet School. These are run by the local companies in my area.
I had to laugh out loud when I read what you said about the dance belt post. That happens to be the most popular post on this blog!
He is starting at the Houston Ballet this summer and he is so excited. I’m lucky that I don’t live too far away. Unfortunately, in TX that means an hour commute each way. Oh well, it means we’ll get to listen to some good books on CD.
As for the costume, he is doing a jazz solo to an 80’s song so we were looking for some pants that wouldn’t split when he does his leaps. Any new ideas would be great. I’m so tired of the same old black pants…
my biggest issue growing up was that nobody told me where I was – technically seen, in comparison with other boys. Being the only guy dancing in my town, it was hard to compare myself to other boys. I wish someone would have told me earlier to get out in the world and widen my horizons..
First time commenter! I happened upon your blog last summer and look forward to new posts! My oldest son just turned 12 this week and has been dancing since he was 4 years old. His primary dance education has been tap and jazz as part of an all boys class. 4 years ago, he added acro (tumbling) which is co-ed. 2 years ago he tried out for a local dance theatre’s Nutcracker performance desperate for boys and has been hooked on ballet ever since. This year he takes 2 back to back ballet classes a week to catch up on lost time – also co-ed and he’s the only boy. He recently auditioned for a International Dance Festival representing American dance styles of ballet, tap, jazz, and hip hop. He was awarded a tap spot as well as a hip hop spot. He recently declined the hip hop spot – more explanation on that later.
Does your son have flexiblity issues? No issues at all! He is one of the most flexible kids in his acro class. His back walk overs are beautiful to watch and he can flatten in the splits to the floor in all directions. His best dance buddy is strung way tighter in the muscle department and cannot do the splits to save his soul.
Does he dislike being the only guy in an all girls ballet class?
He doesn’t mind it at all unless he has to touch one and then its all over. He took a ballet class at another studio that wanted him to lift girls. He told the teacher he would walk out if they pressed the issue. He’s just not at the point in his life where he “likes” girls yet. He will dance next to them as long as he doesn’t have to talk to them or lift them. I’m sure this will change as he gets older.
Is he embarrassed to wear ballet tights?
He’s never worn them before but is open to the idea. He has a few older boy role models he met while doing Nutcracker this year. They all wear tights and have encouraged him to try. The studio he is currently at discourages their use because they are not a ballet studio. He got his first dance belt this year – thanks for your post on that because it was a life saver for me! For recitals, his costumes have always been hand made by professional costume makers associated with the studio. This is something they do just for the boys, the girls’ costumes are purchased ready-made. He’s hated a couple of the outfits over the years but always worn them when he had to.
Does he get teased inside or outside the dance studio?
He never has been teased nor is he of the attitude that he would care if someone tried it. Dance is his life and no one is going to sway him from it. He’s had one girl in his ballet class this year who was unkind to him behind his back. She got an ear full from me and never bothered him again.
Does he only want to take hip hop and tap classes?
No, he looks forward to his ballet classes more than his
tap/jazz/acro classes because he is actually learning something new and its hard. He loves the challenge ballet gives him.
Will he take dance class but not get up on stage to perform?
Wild horses couldn’t keep him from performing! He is by nature a very quiet kid but give him a stage and he will bust a move. He even danced at a “dance party” at school one afternoon and was well received. I thought it was terribly gutsy of him. Explanation on declining the hip hop part fits here. When he auditioned he spent 4 hours moving through the various genres without stopping for a break – ballet, tap, jazz, and hip hop. Hip hop was the last and the one he was most excited for. The rehearsal director was a gritty street dancer type who was known for his strong, masculine choreography. So here’s my son, in a sea of girls, just glowing with happiness as he pop-n-locked his heart out. He was so excited to be offered the part until the first rehearsal came around. The gritty street dancer had been offered a professional dancing gig in L.A. and could not continue being the rehearsal director. His replacement was a young girl from a local dance studio known for their dance team style hip hop. Lots of hair flipping and booty shaking – my son was horrified beyond all reason… My son managed to make it through to the end and then politely told the new rehearsal director he could not be part of this role if this is what her choregraphy was going to be. She told him she didn’t know how to change the moves to be more masculine and have never taught boys before. It seemed she was more than happy for him to quit and he sat in the car afterwards and had a good cry. I had never seen him so upset about dance.
Do auditions give him the jitters?
Not at all. He has never been nervous in his life. He leaves that to me. He also is an accomplished pianist and has performed a lot in the last 7 years.
Would he like to learn how to be a choreographer?
Absolutely but there seems to be little opportunity instruction wise around here. We live in Iowa.
In regards to furthering their dance education, we have come to a cross roads this year on that subject as well. He’s been at the same studio since he started at age 4. I’m not a dancer so I know next to nothing about what’s good and what’s not. However, as he has started to branch out and become involved in these other dance theatre programs, anyone with one good working eye can start to see how substandard his instruction really is starting to be. The opportunity to work with teachers from different studios has made us both realize he needs to go else where. The icing on the cake was when he came home from the final Nutcracker performance this year and said he learned more in five 1-hour sessions from the tap rehearsal director than he has all year at his current dance studio. I just wanted to hang my head and cry. It is hard to know where to go from here but we are definitely leaving this studio. I want to find him a place where the other students are as serious as he is. He wants to be a professional dancer or at least try to achieve that level.
Wow! Your son has got quite the handle on his dancing and his life it seems. And you are doing a great job. It sounds like you need to find a full ballet program or a pre-professional company….or several. That’s his next step.
Now there’s an issue that’s a bit hard to address. However, maybe just writing about it will help! (A light bulb goes off in Nina’s head…)
I feel a little silly because my sons are just starting out – I mean, pre-ballet 3-4s class, so really just starting out. But I wondered if you had advice on how to start off on the right foot, so to speak.
My older son is very musical and it’s clear that he’s got rhythm. I thought he would benefit from the musical aspect and the physical discipline of ballet, so last year I enrolled him in a pre-ballet class. He loved it for 3 classes, was eager to participate, wanted to practice the exercises at home… then abruptly stopped wanting to go. He said it was “hard” and “just girls” – something that hadn’t initially bothered him. I figured maybe it just wasn’t his thing, didn’t want him to feel awkward or pressured, and took him out of the class. No biggie.
Fast forward a year, and he’s asking me when he can go back to ballet. Additionally, now his little brother (they’re 12 months apart) is begging to go because he remembers watching his brother last year and wants to do whatever he does. I guess I’ll enroll them, but I don’t want to have the same experience all over again!
I’ve found a class that has one other boy, so I hope that helps. I’ve also taken them to a ballet presentation for kids that had both boys and girls so that they could see that this isn’t a girls-only pursuit.
But I feel like I’m swimming upstream, and I wonder if I’d rather not bother. The dance shop at the ballet school looks like a sugarplum fairy exploded in it – come on, can’t they put up a Billy Elliot poster or something? It doesn’t even sell black ballet slippers. And don’t get me started on finding ballet tights for little boys. Last year I picked the lace edging off of a pair of girls leggings, and it looks like I’ll be doing the same thing again.
It would certainly be easier to have them take karate instead…
What an interesting blog.
What worries me though, is that the question of “would he like to learn how to choreograph” is posed in a context of sex. The question kind of springs out of the list that addresses issues dancing boys may face in our culture because of their sex.
That should be asked of everyone who shows passion to dance. I have never in my lifetime in dance heard that question asked of dancing girls.
On the other hand, not everyone needs to choreograph if they don’t have the need to. Saying this because it is great to see more and more boys and men find their own (masculine) ways of being a dancer.
Amanda – My son started with an all boys tap class and I think that really helped. As for the clothing, a lot of boys that are around four wear bike shorts for ballet. It should be easy to find some bike shorts in just plain black. You could also try the body wrappers brand jazz pants for boys. Bal togs also sells jazz pants and tights for boys. Good luck!
Hey guys, I started dancing late on at age 16 because i never had it in me to ask my parents for dance lessons when i was younger. All of my ‘hints’ seemed to go un-noticed, or take us in the wrong direction, and so it took me until 16 to have the bottle to say – mum, I want to dance!
Costumes are costumes, uniforms are uniforms, they are (and i know that some people may not agree!) irrelevant. I want to dance, i love to dance, to be free and out of my normal mindset is fantastic, what I’m wearing isn’t really an issue unless it is irritating me and flapping about…
Yes I have some flexibility issues from starting late on but they are gradually ironing themselves out. I can get the splits (not quite box splits) but it is getting easier the more i try and the harder i push myself. No pain, no gain!
The main thing for boys in dance is encouragement and support. Having a supportive and encouraging family / group of friends around you is imperative to push boundaries, and achieve your goals. Yes sometimes it feels like the world is against you (with the ‘dance is for girls’ crowd), and that you aren’t quite flexible enough, and that you feel an idiot wearing your costume – but your free, and your dancing that’s all that matters!
Work hard, enjoy dancing, and have a whole lot of fun! Don’t worry about anything else, or anyone else!
Hi, all–I haven’t checked this blog for a while, but this is a post I want to chime in on. My son, now 30, began dance at five, but like Dancing Guy, didn’t fully realize he could be professional till he was 16 going to a high school in the East where he could visit professional studios. Boys, especially, have the advantage of maturing later than girls, so they can train their bodies–for strength and flexibility and technique–later than girls. My son completely re-shaped his body into a flexible dancer’s body from age 16 on.
Still, he wouldn’t have had the inspiration and understanding of dance to to this if he hadn’t started early with male teachers (age 7 on) who taught boys’ classes. Because he sometimes lived with his dad, he wasn’t always consistently training during that time, but I also think experience with sports (baseball, basketball) informed his kinetic sense.
So,my advice to young boys who want to dance–find the best ballet studio you can, especially one with a male teacher and a boys’ class. Often, boys can dance on scholarship, since ballet studios need boys and want to train them from a young age for the demands of the male roles. Then, when your son is a teenager, like Nina’s, audition for the best summer programs you can find–again, usually there are scholarships available for boys–and have him get the best training from a variety of good teachers. If you have a dance festival in your area, like we do, sign him up.
He will need encouragement, inspiration, role models, and peers to make it in the tough world of ballet, but it’s worth it. Most of all, he will need wise supportive parents who know when to encourage, when to step out of the way, and how to be there for the long haul of auditions, rejection, exhaustion, and the brief wonderful moments of trancendence on stage. The time goes by quickly, but the love of dance is something that will be with him forever.
Well…this post has gotten more comments than any other…ever! And that’s great. After I post all the parts of the Denise Wall interview. I’ll weed through the issues you have raised and either address them to the best of my ability or ask an expert to do so. That was the point…to bring up issues readers needed addressed. So…thanks!
Hi – Thanks for the support and advice several of you offered. Just writing in with an update. My two little sons (the 3 and 4 year olds) have now had 2 pre-ballet classes, and it’s going great. The boys have really taken to the class and are so proud of themselves. The other little boy, previously the only one in the class, was happy to see them there, but not as happy as his parents were – they welcomed us like kindred spirits. They also told me where to get dancewear for little boys – American Apparel. They have a lot of unisex basics, including black leggings and jazz pants down to a size 2. Of course, this news was too late for me – I did end up cutting the lace of Gapkids girls’ leggings, but now I know what to do next time. (They look so cute in them, by the way.)
The biggest surprise to me so far (other than the fact that my 3 year old can chasse) is how excited the parents of the *girls* in the classs are to see boys in the class. I’ve overheard so many very positive comments, including “I’m so glad there are a few boys in the mix” and “it’s amazing how much better developed athletically boys are at this age.”
Anyway, who knows if the boys will want to continue, or if this spring will be their only class. But so far it seems like it’s going to be a positive experience, and I hope it broadens their minds as it strengthens their little bodies.
Hi! I’m a girl dancer and were I dance in odenton Maryland we would love to have a male dancer in our performance company! Please guys if you reading this don’t be affraid to ask your mom and dad to dance and if they agree and you like in odenton Maryland or close you should look up arts n motion dance studio! It is amazing and the teachers are ery loving and caring. It would be awsome if you were in the age of 11-15
Hello! I am a mother in northern Virginia. My son is 15 years old and in the past 2 years he really found out that he has raw talent. He wants to go into acting whether it be Musical Theatre or Film. His friends have convinced him to try out for the high school’s dance team. He has and thinks he has a pretty good shot. Matt is very well respected at his high school and isn’t concerned about being teased. He is slightly worried about performing at football games where he was once a player. His father, while accepting and loving, isn’t 100% on board with his son dancing on a team of 10 girls. Could anyone offer some advice?
Kimberley,
Sorry to take so long to get back to you. My son was always afraid of getting teased. He just did it anyway. It’s always hard when the dad is not on board, though…much harder. You have to simply support him in following his dreams. Show him videos and stories of other boys who have followed theirs and become dancers. Maybe this summer I will get Julian on a Google Hangout…and he can ask him questions.
My son takes classes in jazz, ballet, tap and hip hop. He is lucky enough to be at a studio where there is an all-boys hip hop class, but that is his least favorite discipline. He really only takes it to be in a dance recital with other boys. He loves ballet, and deals fine with being the only boy in his class. But, he struggles with his flexibility and he HATES private lessons – he’d rather not be the center of the flexible female teacher’s attention. The girls seem to be able to start class almost cold and he has to really warm up. I wish there were more male teachers for him to work with. And, while he really enjoys the company of the girls in his classes (and the handful of other boys), the teenage girls just totally baffle him. I guess because he has been with them for so long, dancing and wearing leotards, they don’t see him as a “guy” anymore. While this is usually fine, there are times where I can tell he’d rather be talking about something besides make-up and who is cute. The girls don’t mean any harm, they are sweet and caring, but it is hard to be a boy going through puberty primarily with girls who see you as a “brother.”
MKS,
Yes, being “one of the girls” can be a problem, especially when they start liking those girls and the girls just don’t see them that way.
Flexibility continues to be a problem for Julian and he is turning 20. It’s getting better…but some boys are just not built for flexbility, and it simply takes work. Julian warms up for 45 minutes or more every day.
My son began ballet at age of 7 and praticed till the age of 12 and he always wore the same attire as the girls. Not a skirt ofcourse but leo and pink tights and pink shoes. The instructor was pleased as it really helped her see his allignments as he danced plus it keep uniformity in the class.
I am amazed, and I think that is horrible. He should be dressed like a boy.
Nina I was very sorry you felt that way over my sons dance attire. It has really worked out wonderfully over the years. He has now been learning to dance point over the last several months and plans to dance point in the next recital. He is a graceful dancer with a lot of potential . I am so proud of him and his courage to be the dancer he has become. Yes he is a little nontraditional with long hair which he does wear in a bun and his dance attire but it takes individuals to make this world great. He is accepted by his peers and the girls in class love having him there.
Alexis,
I just meant that the studio artistic director and the teachers should have encouraged him to dress and dance like a boy. It’s very important. They should never make a boy conform to the girls…ever.
Now, if it is HIS preference to dress like the girls, wear a bun, and dance en point, that’s fine. If he is happy, great!
But no one at a dance studio should make him conform in any way to the girl. And boys need to dance like boys not like girls to succeed as professionals.
I did not mean to offend you!
I was searching the Internet for support to deal with the issues my son’s are facing in their dance lives, when I found your site. I have two boys, a pre-teen and teen, who have been dancing for five years. They love to dance, and take all genres from ballet, to tap and hip hop. They have taken at a couple of different studios, but we seem to keep having the same issue. My boys are pushed to the back and excluded from choreo by teachers, although they are accomplished and capable. They perform solos and duets for competition and score extremely well, and are even high-score winners and title-holders, but the teachers do not challenge them or give them opportunities in group co-Ed dances. They dumb-down the choreo and try to dress them in khakis or other street clothes rather than dance wear. It’s discouraging for them, and frustrating for me. These teacher’s attitudes carry across to the girls in the studio and the parents. Even when the boys are in a group dance, the cheers are always go-girls, or the dance titles are gender specific and completely exclude my boys. I’m at wits end and I don’t want my boys to become discouraged and quit something they love, or fall behind in skills they need to progress. At the end of my rope!! Is anyone else experiencing this? Suggestions?
Discouraged Dad,
Kudos to you for supporting your boys in dance! Did you seem my hubby’s post on the site about the importance of Dads in a dancin’ boy’s life?
Anyway, I suggest you find a new studio. Where they are is obviously not supportive or conducive to their growth.
Hi, great thread! My son is a young dancer with very long hair. He loves dance, ballet particularly. When he made the performance team he was asked to put his hair in a high bun like the girls during performances. He complied but was mortified honestly. He has never worn his hair in a bun and the explanation given him was ‘everybody with long hair has to’. It’s my understanding they’ve never had a long-haired boy at the school. He was recently in a play at the school and on the day of the play they asked him to put his hair in a bun, but he argued he did not want to. Thankfully a male ballet teacher came to his defense and told the women teachers that he was a boy not a girl. Yay! So he wore it in a low ponytail gelled back. However we are almost at recital and I just got an email that everyone with long hair has to have it in a bun so I believe they are directing this towards my son for the school recital. I tried to search on the web what professional male ballet dancers do with long hair and I’m not finding anywhere that a bun is required for males. In fact I have found the opposite. Since my son plans to be on the competitive team I am curious, are there rules for dancing competitions that require boys to wear their hair in a bun? I assume recital rules at the discretion of the artistic director and foresee a problem coming. Any advice you could give me?
I think the point is to stop his hair from flying around in his face. He could do a “man bun,” which is just the hair tied back with an elastic and folded over…not really a bun. Or he could do a top pony tail, where they put the front of the hair up in an elastic but let the rest hang low. The hair needs to not detract or distract from the dance number. I’d talk this over with the artistic director.
Please help me. My fifteen year old son has changed so much for the worse. From age seven James took classes in tap, ballet. modern and jazz. More recently on advice from teachers he has focused on ballet. As well as having a natural talent he has always worked hard on his dance and on his fitness. He runs 5 or 6 miles per day, does pilates and of course dance classes. Becoming the best has become an obcession. The more teachers have praised him the worse he has become. He is aggressive towards dance partners if he doesn’t feel they are working hard enough. He recently slapped a girl in the face which made her cry. His dance teacher did not discipline him and in fact hinted that his behaviour was justified when I spoke to her. I am amazed the girl’s parent have not complained. Is dance the problem ? Are the teachers to blame ? Is there a deeper problem that my son needs counselling for ?
Hi Nina. My son is 13. At his dance and drama class on Saturdays the kids learn different styles of dance including hip hop, ballet and tap. My son has always worn track bottoms and a t-shirt but told me after his class last weekend that his new teacher told him he must wear tights for the next ballet class and when my son said he would not the teacher got angry and she slapped him in the face. Can I report this teacher and has she or any of the other teachers got the right to insist that he wears tights ? He likes his dance and drama class and has many friends there and wants to continue but I dont know what to do.
My son is turning 4. He can dance. Where should I start? Ballet, hip hop? How do I encourage him in such a female-dominated field (he’s already being teased, at preschool. Sigh).
I suggest a combo class, Jodi! Tap, ballet, and jazz. Then progress to others. Hip hop is always fun. The boys love tap.
Andrea,
No teacher has the right to slap your child. You should take him out of that class or report the teacher.
As for the tights…most ballet teahers require it at some point.
Sorry it took so long to answer your question.
I’m so sorry I missed this! I think your son has an issue…He should not be slapping the girls! And the teacher should have reprimanded him. HOwever, Julian has very high standards and is often angry at other dancers who are not working as hard…so he has had to learn to deal with that in different ways. I got him support…I suggest you do the same.
Really sorry to read the recent post about the teacher hitting the boy. That’s not acceptable. But boys should wear tights for ballet. Period. I would not allow my son to leave the house for dance class if he was not wearing tights and I believe that other parents should act in the same responsible way. My daughter is required to wear tights and leotard at her dance class and again I enforce this rule as a parent. I did get some protest from my son in the summer a couple of years back when he wanted to wear bike shorts rather than tights because of the temperatures and the amount he was sweating but now he realizes that he can do a better job and get fewer injuries from wearing tights which keep muscles warm, however hot it seems in the dance studio.
Good for you, Matt! Dancin’ boys need more dancin’ dads willing to help them succeed.
Good for you, Matt. Dancin’ boys need dads who help them succeed.
I’m so happy I have found your blog! I knew nothing about the dance world until my son at age 4 danced instead of walking and insisted on warching dance videos every spare minute. He enrolled in his first class at age 5 and hasn’t looked back. Now he is nine and has just been put on the ‘time to get serious’ track at his school. He takes ballet, tap, contemporary (his favorite) and hip hop. As a mom, I struggle with how much is “too much.” He’s taking nine hours of class a week. He says he wants to be a professional dancer, so I don’t want to deny him the training he needs to do so. But I worry about him spending so many hours in the studio instead of playing outside. He has no problem with this, though, and wants to even take more classes!
The other struggle we currently have is the gender stereotyping that occurs both outside and inside the dance world. Because there is such a stereotype that male dancers are feminine, I’ve found a lot of the male dance world to be hyper masculine. I’ve found that my own son often feels he isn’t accepted for who he is – a more effeminate male dancer. We went to three studios before finding one who would let him wear dresses and tutus onstage. Luckily the studio we finally found is amazing in both their personal acceptance of him as well as their high standards for technique. He identifies as male – he just loves the glitter and the dresses and all things beautiful. He’s also (mom brag here) incredibly talented, to a point that it scares me sometimes. Everyone tells us he has so much potential, and I don’t want to screw this up. But I have no idea of the world we are about to step into in a few years (right now it feels nice and safe here in our small town). But somehow I need to get him from here – to a chance at the professional world – and it seems that all of this starts sooner than later.
Dear Nina. Its not my son who is struggling with something……its me. My son is 13 and recently when I picked him up from dance class he told me he was wearing nothing under his tracksuit and when I asked him why he explained he took off all his dancewear including his dancebelt for a massage. I know there is a trained masseur employed by the dance school but it never occured to me that he would be naked while someone rubbed oil on him. My son thinks this is normal and says he cant be massaged properly if he is wearing anything. Am I right to be shocked by this and what should I do ? I think the same man also massages the girls in the dance class and I wonder if they are also naked. I havent spoken to any of the other mums about this yet. Is this normal practice ? Am I over reacting. Please help.
Carrie,
I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now. Julian has NEVER been massaged naked…ever… And at that age, he didn’t get a massage without my permission. I’d be asking about this if it were my son.
I can sympathize with the mom whose son is displaying aggressive tendencies. I havent encountered it yet from my own son who is seven but I recall the experiences i had when dancing as a pre-teen and a teenager. Boys are aggressive especially when hormones come into play and in dance classes girls are on the receiving end because we are the ones they have the most contact with. In the ballet class I was in one boy shouted at me often when we partnered and he slapped my face hard on more then one occasion which was painful and humiliating. He was never reprimanded. I think the problem was – and still may be – that there are so few boys in dance classes that the teachers constantly tell them how fantastic they are and generally overlook behavior that they wouldn’t tolerate from a girl. If a girl drops out, that s fine but they dont want the boys to. But parents also have a responsibility and that means insisting on decent standards whether boys are playing soccer, baseball or dancing.
Thanks for sharing your experinece, Ella. Boys should be reprimanded for such behavior…no matter what.
I am excited to see this blog is still active. I too have a boy (8 1/2) who loves to dance but is ready to quit because he is tired of being the only boy. He dances a classical Indian style of dance called Kuchipudi and is quite gifted. When he dances, he moves with this grace and spirit and energy that is well beyond his years. It is evident to his teachers and most anyone watching. He also does gymnastics and has amazing strength and flexibility. He does not even want to continue for another 4 weeks in preparation for the end of the year performance and where he will be given his ankle bells by his teachers. I am looking at other styles of dance where he might find other boys — not necessarily classical Indian. I was thinking ballet and modern. I don’t know how to find a good school. Thoughts?
Hi Nina. I hope you can help. We are in the UK but your site seems the only one that covers issues that us parents are concerned with. Our son is ten and mad-keen on tap and ballet. He also plays football, runs and does gymnastics. But his best friend is a girl in his ballet class. They style each others hair, wear each others ballet tights and sometimes both wear make up that the girl gets from her older sister. My husband is very relaxed about this and tells me not to worry. he is happy that our son is friends with such a nice girl. But I am worried he is spending too much time with her. I dont have a problem with him wearing make up if that is what he wants but I am worried that his close relationship with this girl is getting more intimate than is acceptable at his age. I think they spend a lot of time in her bedroom trying on clothes. The girl’s parents do not seem to mind. Am I worrying for no reason? I dont want to ruin a friendship but I want to be a responsible parent. What should I do?
Lorraine, I apologize that I was not here when you needed me. I stopped blogging here for the most part about two years ago…but I’m about to start again. Do you still need any help?
Not sure I ever replied to this…I’m sure it worked out fine! Kids that age are not thinking about sex…just about friendship.
I’m sure by now you found one…but a good school is one that challenges your son and provides the techique he needs as well as being supportive.