The six weeks of American Ballet Theatre’s summer intensive ended with a bang! The final performance was awesome with the advanced students, in particular, offering up some really amazing and pretty professional-looking dancing.
In particular, the violet level choreographed one number themselves (with the help of their instructor), and it was a stand out by far! There was another number featuring choreography by Twyla Tharp, and one or two others that were totally memorable. The upper level ballet pieces were all beautifully danced, as were the intermediate pieces as well.
Julian’s first piece, Fakir, was well danced, too, but, as he said, he didn’t really get to show off the ballet technique he learned during the summer. His second piece, E.J., set to several Elton John songs, was phenomenal. The dancing was good as was the choreography, and I thought Julian looked good…but I am his mother.
I never did get to talk to any of the boys about their experiences at ABT or as young male dancers. I really wanted to talk to them about the latter, but it seems most of them haven’t had the struggles Julian has had with teasing and such. That’s an interesting subject in and of itself. It seems that the majority of the boys Julian encountered either are home schooled or in performing arts schools; thus, they avoid the majority of the issues that most boys who choose to dance come across, such as being called weird or gay and being ostracized. These boys are choosing to be educated alternatively — either outside of normal school systems or within a school system where they are accepted as “normal,” because they aren’t the only boys dancing or interested in the arts.
I must add that one of the reasons many of the boys are home schooled has to do with their level of commitment to dance. They want to dance more hours per day than they possibly could if they were in a typical school, such as the school Julian attends. Or they want to complete high school early so they can begin a professional career at an earlier age.
Julian has chosen not to do either; he was ostracized and teased for three years of middle school (longer really), and now that he feels he fits in and has friends, even though he still gets teased by some kids in his school, he doesn’t want to leave his new-found social life. He also wants to be a “normal” kid. That said, if he was offered the chance to dance in a company or in a show, he’d give it up in a second…with some regrets but without much hesitation.
I was at Broadway Dance Center and began speaking to the mother of a girl in Julian’s tap class. She was a teacher, as was her husband. She said the kids she has taught who were home schooled and then came to a public school lacked — well…how can I say this nicely? — social graces. They didn’t have the ability to get along or to solve some basic problems that occurred in social situations or in situations involving “authority figures.” She told me she believed having children complete “normal” middle and high school provided a much better life preparation. She felt children who come out of a typical school have necessary life skills that can’t be gained from home schooling.
As for schools for the arts, I think they are lovely. The kids who attend get to be with like minded children. They are nurtured and allowed to pursue their interests at a young age, and they get all that social education as well as the interaction with authority figures. However, this type of environment also fails to provide a real-life experience. Then when they get out into the world an are called “gay” or pushed around for being different, they may not know what to do.
Anyway, back to the subject of ABT: I was totally, totally, impressed with the boys, especially level blue and up. The higher level boys were something to behold!
Julian is sad that the program is over and plans, at this moment at least, to audition and come back next year. He’s made friends. He’s enjoyed himself. He’s improved immensely.
As a parent, I can say that the experience was well worth the money for him. For me…well, that’s another subject and story.
One more week in NYC. I’ll keep you posted if I can on our escapades at the New York Dance Studios. Tomorrow we aren’t doing much: one jazz class with Sue Samuels and then off to see Pilobolus. We pick up again on Monday late afternoon or evening after a trip to my see my mother once more before going home. (We travel there by bus on Sunday late morning.) More at that time.
One last note: I thought the people at ABT did a pretty superb job with the program and the performance overall. My only complaints as a parent: the fact that we were never allowed into the ABT “inner sanctum” until the last week (although I can understand that they might not want daily visits from parents), no activities for the group of attendees at all and no final group activity or anything. Not even a word at the end of the performance, which made it a little strange. I thought they should have at least come up when it was over and said something. (The directors did say something at the beginning.) But overall, well done, ABT.
Hi Nina,
I agree that a lot of homeschoolers do lack the social skills that kids in school learn. But there are also some homechoolers who are very well socialized and aware of the world, due to parents who have been involved with homeschooling networks and things of that nature, and I guess who possess a will to make sure their homeschooler isn’t one of the more “typical” homeschoolers. I homeschooled my son for a year (due to ballet demands), and met lots of the typical sorts of kids, but also a handful of kids who had been homeschooled their entire lives and were very well adjusted socially. My thought is that it really depends on the parents and whether or not they are actively trying to socialize their child and make sure they’re not sheltered or spending too much time away from other children.
My son was teased a bit in grade school regarding ballet, but was also admired for his dancing by others. It really varied with the kids, it seemed. He always felt a bit uncomfortable discussing his dancing with the other kids, particularly the boys. There were also times when the entire school would come to watch special performances that the local ballet company would do for the public schools–and these shows always had kids from the affiliated school in them (my son was part of those). These days he would have a lot of mixed feelings. He’d be so excited to be dancing with the company, as that was always an honor and a bit of a treat, but would also feel sort of unsure of how his schoolmates would react. I always felt sort of sad that he couldn’t just fully enjoy himself at those times.
As for the “gay” comments, I’ve always taught my son to just shrug it off and say something like “so what if am gay? nothing wrong with gay people…” and that has worked, for the most part. However, we have always lived in very liberal communities where children would surely know children with gay parents and such. So I imagine this might not work as well in a more conservative environment.
Kids in performing and visual arts schools are also called “gay”. It really happens everywhere, including in the residential ballet schools. It is just such a typical sort of insult nowadays that it seems it’s something all sorts of boys (sometimes girls, too) have to deal with. I feel it’s a really unfortunate idea that to be gay is somehow negative, or worthy of teasing, so that is what I have emphasized with my son.
Anyhow, so glad ABT NYC was a great summer for you and Julian! I know it’s a stellar program, so I am not surprised Julian had a wonderful time there and grew so much. It’s great to hear that he wants to return next summer, as well. I love that you included that he’s been texting nonstop with his new friends! That is such a big part of summer intensives, in general, all the new friends the kids make. This is really special for so many boys who dance all year without other boys, or maybe just one or two. I’ve noticed amongst the professional dancing men I’ve met that they have in many cases maintained these friendships over long periods of time, really becoming life long friends with guys they have met at these summer programs. Paths of males in ballet typically cross and re-cross again and again, it seems too. Small world for them, which is really sort of neat, I think.
Regarding the no parents allowed thing at ABT, this is sort of a typical thing with the ballet schools my son has danced at. It’s no fun for us, as parents, but it seems to benefit the children and their teachers to not have a bunch of parents watching and/or hanging around. I am not so surprised ABT NYC follows this rule. The thing about no group activities at the end is sort of sad, though! You might consider writing to ABT to suggest that they have some sort of final activity in future years. It’s a good idea, and one that ABT may be able to implement.
hi–
great blog 🙂 i was also at the show as i had 2 students dancing there (girls)and must agree that i was VERY impressed with the boys. don’t know which one was your son but the boys overall were awesome 🙂
middle school is THE WORST for that kind of thing— if he survived that he should do great. (wish i could have coerced my boys into ballet but no such luck).