I don’t know about anyone else, but Julian’s dance costs are eating us alive. Two years ago, we really got in over our heads. Julian had two competition numbers on top of his regular classes, and he was competing as an independent, which means we were unaffiliated with a studio. This also meant that every time we wanted him to rehearse we had to pay for rehearsal time with a professional and for studio time. One of his teachers cost us $100 an hour for rehearsals/lessons! That got really expensive when it turned out he needed time every week to prepare for his upcoming competitions. (And he hated having me be his rehearsal supervisor the rest of the time, but I said, “Tough you know what. I’m free.”) Along with some other expenses we had that year, we got into debt big time.
This year, I’m afraid his dance fees will send us to the poor house. Teen Dance Company (TDC) is not cheap, let me tell you, and it’s real sticker shock after Ballet San Jose School (even without a scholarship). Then there are the fees for the jazz classes he takes on his “off” days, not to mention an extra conventions (The Pulse). We had to cancel his private tap lessons. And I work as a freelancer, so I never know how much money I’ll be making, and paying his bills seems to depend on my income, especially since we’re still paying off all those hospital, doctor and lab bills from his summer illness. (If you know of anyone needing a nonfiction book edited, send them my way…)
Now I’m not even talking about (well…I guess I am) the additional costs for his sister’s art lessons and synchronized swimming team. Between the two of them, we spend well over $1000 a month. That’s disposable income we don’t even have! So, when someone asks my husband or me what we do for fun, I reply, “We don’t have fun. Our kids do!” And that’s the truth. Back to the point…
I have discovered that in some cases, studios are very happy to do whatever it takes to get boys into their classes. We were pleased to have a 50 percent scholarship at Ballet San Jose School for three years; they wanted and needed boys in the school. We were pleased to discover a studio in San Jose, Nor Cal Dance arts, that offered a 50 percent discount on classes – any classes – to boys. Unfortunately, Julian wasn’t able to take many classes there, although I was impressed with some of the teachers. So, it’s worth asking if a studio will offer your son a scholarship, or if they offer discounts for male dancers.
In a recent article in the New York Times, Peter Martins, ballet master in chief of New York City Ballet and chairman of faculty at the School of American Ballet, talked about actually allowing boys into his program for free so he’d have enough boys to fill a class. Here’s what the article said:
For the 2007-8 year the children’s division accepted 46 percent of boys and 22 percent of girls who auditioned. The program waives tuition for all boys older than 7 while they are in the children’s division, no questions asked. It’s an offer not available to the more abundant crop of girls.
I think the ballet world tends to more inclined to offer free and discounted rates for boys, however, than general studios. When Julian was on a dance team at a local studio, we were unable to get any sort of discount. And now that he is with TDC, we were unable to obtain a scholarship. TDC is a non-profit corporation, funded by individual donations, grants from private foundations and ticket sales, so I guess their money tends to be tight. They only give scholarships when they have a really big company, and right now it’s pretty small.
I’ve been disappointed to find that more studios don’t offer discounts for boys. They complain that they don’t have enough boys and they can’t attract boys to their studios, but they aren’t willing to really go out of their way to get them in the door. I suppose they aren’t willing to put money behind their desire to get them in the door.
That’s really pretty unfortunate, but when it’s all said and done, we mom’s with boys who dance really need to find the best studio and the best teachers for our boys. So, in the end it doesn’t really come down to the money at all. If it did, I wouldn’t be spending the outrageous amount I’m now spending for Julian to be with TDC. It sure would be nice to find a studio that wants to discount the rate for boys or offer a great scholarship and provide them with a top-notch dance education.
It is my understanding that many colleges will provide male dancers with great scholarships – sometimes close to a full ride. They really do want the boys in their dance programs, and they are willing to put money behind that desire. So, as my husband puts it, we are investing in our son’s college education now. We may not be putting any money “away” into his college fund, but we are, indeed, investing towards his college education every day, every month. Just look at our checkbook and you’ll see…
Hello again Nina, I have been reading all your “back issues” and I have to agree, the costs are crazy. Our son who is 8 has five competitive pieces and including a jazz solo. All of his dances have qualified for Nationals (finishing 1 or 2 at a regional) and he was awarded the best of show for his age group. He has a ton of talent and wants to learn and dance as much as he can but the costs are crazy. This last season was over $8000 dollars alone. We downsized our home and have cut out the extras but we are starting to feel the pressure. I have no dreams of a big cash reward at the end of this, I just want him to be able to chase his love of dance. How does one deal with the guilt of putting so much into a future for an eight year old? Will we ever stop feeling like we are overindulgent parents?
David,
My husband and I talked about this together. Eight thousand dollars is a lot of money per year, but when you break it down into what you are probably spending per item (travel, costumes, choreography, team fees, entrance fees, etc.), we can see where it would run up to that amount.
What we found was that when there was so much emphasis on competition when Julian was at a competition studio, that there can sometimes be not enough emphasis on technique. The focus is on learning choreography and learning how to perform. That’s valuable, but what suffers is technique. There are some studios where this is not the case, like at Denise Wall’s Dance Energy in S. Carolina. A few studios take a year off for technique, only competing every other year.
In the end, we had to take Julian out of a competitive studio and enroll him in a ballet studio associated with a ballet company. We then had him compete as a solo independent artist for about three years.
If you read the blog carefully, you’ll see Julian then went on to a high-level contemporary teen dance company, where they said they didn’t compete–or at least they would only get adjudicated. They didn’t like to be called a competition team. However, even the fact that they focused on performance–they performed quite often–and technique, did not make this studio “good enough” in the end. Julian was told by the people at both ABT and Complexions he needed more ballet technique if he wanted to become a professional dancer (in either contemporary or ballet).
Later, after he joined a serious ballet school, he did compete in YAGP (once) and at Regional Dance America. These competitions require high-level ballet technique. Then he went on to SAB, which got him where he is now.
The performance ability learned in competition studios is invaluable. Don’t get me wrong. Eventually, though, your money will be better invested in studios that focus on technique over competition–whatever technique he chooses to focus upon eventually (ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary, Broadway, or even hip hop). Often times those studios will give scholarships to boys.
Should you feel overindulgent? No, not if you can afford what you are providing for your son. All our disposable income went to both our children’s activities, albeit mostly to Julian’s dance. Should you feel guilty? No, not if this is really his passion and love. We did not put that kind of time and money into my daughter’s passing fancies. That said, we did pay a fortune for skating lessons, ice skates, skating costumes, and skating choreography as well as synchronized swimming suits and choreography…none of which she stuck with for as many years as her brother stuck with dance. You do what you can for your kids…and you don’t look back. You give them the opportunities you can afford to give them so they can become who they are meant to become.
Be proud that you are being the best, most supportive father you can be for your young dancer.
I have a 16 year old son who has been dancing for about 6 years. Fortunately for my husband & me, his dance school offers 3 classes for free for male dancers aged 10 and up but we still have to pay for costumes and with my son being in the Company, we have fees for that as well (competition, etc.). It’s still a struggle for us to have to pay those fees. Hopefully our son will get a full scholarship to college.
We are lucky that our current studio offers 50% discount for boys for their classes but not for private lessons (understandably). Unfortunately it is really hard to find studios that don’t have classes on Saturdays and we keep Shabbat which means that we have to pay for one private a week just to make up for the class they miss so that they can do their exams. Our 2nd son shows the most promise so far and I would love him to have the opportunity to do solo work too but I don’t know how I can justify the expense of more private lessons. I can’t even think about different dance styles that they would love to do. I have 6 sons! Now granted the eldest is 7 but I have 4 in ballet now and 2 more to come and the demands are only going to increase. How on earth do I finance that!? How many people with 6 boys are taking them to the ballet studio? Yet I can see now that they will be stifled simply because the money needed to provide 6 with the full level of training is prohibitive.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that it would cost a fraction of the price to send them to soccer or some other sport. I understand why, given the choice, and with factors like the stigma on male dancers that most would choose the sport, yet they always want more male dancers. I dread the day when I may have to tell my boys sorry but we can’t afford ballet anymore so you need to do something else, or sorry but you will never be able to be really good because I can’t afford more and more classes. Shabbat has made it hard enough on them, I will be devastated if finances rule it out entirely.
Aviva,
My son had Shabbat and dance as marks against him as well. Jewish camp was the only place he felt accepted, and then he had to give that up to pursue dance more seriously. He later joined BBYO.
Ask your studio for help. They should give you a family discount at least…and a discount for boys.
I did know a woman who took out the children who weren’t as serious about dance…who were doing it for fun rather than to pursue a career. Just a thought.